An Act of Balance

Finding the balance between faith and fortune, between love and pain, between anger and despair - a tale of a Chinese woman born out of time.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

2a

Barbara was 16 when the family arrived bedraggled into Macau. They had traversed over 800 miles in their effort to outrun the Communists and had arrived just in time. Somehow, Barbara's mother, Eileen had secured a one-room flat in the seediest part of town, much to Isaiah's disgruntlement but all that mattered to Eileen was a roof over her family's head.

Naturally, Isaiah being the principal of a school, signified the importance of education in Barbara's family, so of course the first thing Eileen did was tromp her children off to college. Though both Simon and Barbara were both technically too young for college, she knew them both to be smart and quick enough to be able to keep up. Though she foresaw the pitfalls this move would have on all her children, it was simpler than trying to enroll them into a school where she would have to explain why they didn't have the proper papers.

It wasn't long before her foresight proved uncannily accurate. Carol started being afraid and unsure of herself as she struggled with both the fact that her siblings, though younger, outstripped her in studies as well as the news of atrocities committed by the Communists. Any mention of associations with communists made her jumpy. From then on, her claim was always that she was being duped by the other students and she had no idea what they were using the presses for.

Simon grew more haughty and arrogant as he realized his intellectual prowess. Before long, he grew hopes of leaving Macau in search of... something that could challenge him. His boredom grew daily. Eileen puffed with pride every time she thought of Simon. She agreed. For Simon to stay in Macau was a waste. They had to find a way for him to emigrate to America where Harvard, Yale, and the rest of the Ivy League schools could incite his intelligence.

Barbara grew more wild each day. Allowing her to go to college and make adult decisions didn't seem to dampen her spirits any. If anything, any mantle of responsibility seemed to slip from her shoulders to end up discarded. Barbara just loved to have fun too much. *tsk* Eileen's tongue clicked against the inside of her teeth. She would just have to trust that Barbara yuh dou nau - has her head on correctly. At this point in her life, she would just have to trust God.

[404 words, 1742 total]

Chapter 1


"May I have this dance?" The man's engrish was awful but Barbara gave him points for trying. At least he had more daam than the rest of the boys standing around ogling her and her cousins. She grabbed his hand and led the way to the dance floor.

The four person band blared out a nice Frank Sinatra tune. She jigged, she jagged, she did all the moves she had been practicing in her room all week and it seemed to do the trick. The eyes behind the glasses seemed to twinkle at her under the flashing lights of the nightclub. She smiled broadly at him but he didn't smile back; it was more of a smirk.

Va da hau queu she thought to herself. Not very good looking. His glasses were on the thick side; and his mouth was sort of meh, crooked. Ah, that explained the reluctance to smile.

After the dance was over, he led the way back to her group, bought a round of drinks for her friends, and left. Barbara looked after him and asked Jimmy, the boy her sister was dating, who that guy was. "Yee sze Wong Er Liu" Jimmy replied in Shanghainese even though they were in a nightclub in Hong Kong. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Mm muh Ying Wen ming tze?" No English name? A shake of the head was her reply.

In the 1950's in Hong Kong, most of the younger generated sported English names. Most names were taken from names of movie stars but since the movies usually took 3-5 years in being distributed in Hong Kong, the names taken were from yesterday's stars. There were lots of Bettys after Betty Grable, and Rosalinds after Rosalind Russell. Judys after Judy Garland, and Joans after Joan Crawford.

To have no English equivalent for his name indicated to Barbara, a sense of identity that needed no borrowing from others for justification. She smiled. Then promptly forgot him.

*****

The 1950's in Hong Kong was an exciting time to live in. World War II was now firmly in the past, only remembered hotly by people old enough to remember the indignities suffered at the hands of the Japanese. Barbara had been young enough that had she walked up to the Japanese soldiers in Shanghai, she would've received a pat on the head and perhaps food even. Her older brother, Simon was just a year older so his memory of the invasion was also suspect.

Jimmy, her sister Carol's boyfriend, was two years older than Simon, and was of the age where suspicion fell easily upon his shoulders. To hear Jimmy talk of the invasion was to suffer through a couple of hours of heated discussion, which Barbara studiously avoided. After all, the war was over and they weren't under Communist rule.

The late 40's, after the war with Japan had ended, was a turbulent time in China. Two factions vied for the soul of China - the corrupt Kuomingtang (Nationalist) party and the dreaded no-nonsense Communist party. Of the two parties, Barbara's family stood firmly on the Nationalistic side. After all, Sun Yat Sen founded that party and the family had ties from before the invasion.

But the Nationalist Party had a dark taint to them; they had, under the guidance of Chang Kai Shek, lost to the invading Japanese Party. The shame of the loss was multiplied when one realized how small Japan was to China. Blame flew onto everything the Nationalist Party touched; and out of this disgruntlement grew the Communist Party, starting with students in the universities that had studied Marx.

Within Barbara's family, a small re-enactment of the war for China's soul took place. Barbara's father had been the principal of the largest English girls' school, and therefore represented the establishment: the Nationalist Party. Carol, Barbara's sister had been in college and had made friends with students that fervently hated the establishment. In their eyes, the descent of China's status in the world as well as the corruption that ran rampant in every government office had everything to do with the Nationalist Party and the influence of Western ideals (apparently, the students didn't appreciate the irony of being influenced by Karl Marx).

When Isaiah Ching, Barbara's father, finally realized that Carol had been allowing her friends to use his school's printing press to print out communist manifestos, he had to make a decision quickly, for the situation he had been placed in was a tight squeeze. On one side, his family had ties to the Nationalist Party. On the other hand, the manifestoes that were posted all over Shanghai might get traced back to his school. What to do? No matter who won the battle for China's soul, people would point to his family as being on the other side.

Feeling that no choice was left, Isaiah packed up his family and fled to Macau, a Portugese colony off the coast of Hong Kong.

Barbara wasn't sure how she felt about leaving Shanghai in 1949. She had just turned sweet 16 (not that anyone in her family had noticed) and in the past few years since the war had ended in 1945, she had enjoyed such freedoms like she never did before. Because both her parents, Sarah and Isaiah were involved with reconstruction as well as trying to keep Carol out of trouble, both Simon and Barbara were pretty much left to their own devices.

On Saturdays in Shanghai, Barbara used to love hopping from movie house to movie house, seeing as many as four movies in a day. She'd hit the morning movie, run and get a snack from a food stall on the way to the second theatre house, see two more movies, get dinner from another food stall on the way to the fourth movie house. Arriving home, Sarah'd ask "Chue sah dee fong, ah?" Where'd you go? And Barbara'd shrug and reply "Kui deen ying." She start to tell her mother about who was in the movie, but before five words got out her mouth, Sarah'd be dealing with Simon's current woes.

So, Barbara grew up in a dream-state of sorts, with movie stars like Barbara Stanwyck to serve as role models. Her class-mates and her poured over the latest gossip rags from Hollywood that were ferried over from the States. Of course, the latest would mean three-to-five year old articles but Barbara and her friends didn't care.

When Isaiah announced the move to Macau, Barbara only had one question. Do they show American movies there?

[1,095 words, 1,604 total]

Where Da Muse?

[Author's Notes] Where's the Muse? Dagnamit!

I had pumped out three paragraphs before I had to pick Bratworse up. After getting home, there was a tiny little emergency and I had to leave the house again. Furious, I took care of it, came home, sat down, and realize the muse decided being around an angry resigned idealist just wasn't fun. So she took a hike.

And I'm here cussing myself out cause who is there to blame? No one. I didn't have to get angry. If I had just quickly taken care of business and come home, the muse might've even rewarded me for my good behaviour. But no, I hadda get angry. So now, I'm writing this instead of writing the story.

It's not enough that I had to discard 1,399 words. Yes, you read that correctly. My day off yesterday to kick off Nanowrimo was pretty much in vain. I wrote 1,399 of discardable material. Not only are they discardable, they should be discarded. Did you smell the stink?

Okay, okay, I'm being hard on myself. It wasn't that the words stank. Actually, I'm really pissed that I can't use my opening line there. It was just that the writing had no direction. It was like watching an ant in a box. It goes this way, stops, backs up, heads another way to stop, back up and head another direction. Useless.

So for yesterday's final tally, it was a whopping 800 words.

And today so far, it's been about 500 words. I need to average 1500 words a day to make it.

Okay. Maybe after a piece of chicken (get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking KFC here.) I'll feel better and can put more down. Hope you are enjoying this.

1b

*****

The 1950's in Hong Kong was an exciting time to live in. World War II was now firmly in the past, only remembered hotly by people old enough to remember the indignities suffered at the hands of the Japanese. Barbara had been young enough that had she walked up to the Japanese soldiers in Shanghai, she would've received a pat on the head and perhaps food even. Her older brother, Simon was just a year older so his memory of the invasion was also suspect.

Jimmy, her sister Carol's boyfriend, was two years older than Simon, and was of the age where suspicion fell easily upon his shoulders. To hear Jimmy talk of the invasion was to suffer through a couple of hours of heated discussion, which Barbara studiously avoided. After all, the war was over and they weren't under Communist rule.

The late 40's, after the war with Japan had ended, was a turbulent time in China. Two factions vied for the soul of China - the corrupt Kuomingtang (Nationalist) party and the dreaded no-nonsense Communist party. Of the two parties, Barbara's family stood firmly on the Nationalistic side. After all, Sun Yat Sen founded that party and the family had ties from before the invasion.

But the Nationalist Party had a dark taint to them; they had, under the guidance of Chang Kai Shek, lost to the invading Japanese Party. The shame of the loss was multiplied when one realized how small Japan was to China. Blame flew onto everything the Nationalist Party touched; and out of this disgruntlement grew the Communist Party, starting with students in the universities that had studied Marx.

Within Barbara's family, a small re-enactment of the war for China's soul took place. Barbara's father had been the principal of the largest English girls' school, and therefore represented the establishment: the Nationalist Party. Carol, Barbara's sister had been in college and had made friends with students that fervently hated the establishment. In their eyes, the descent of China's status in the world as well as the corruption that ran rampant in every government office had everything to do with the Nationalist Party and the influence of Western ideals (apparently, the students didn't appreciate the irony of being influenced by Karl Marx).

When Isaiah, Barbara's father, finally realized that Carol had been allowing her friends to use his school's printing press to print out communist manifestos, he had to make a decision quickly, for the situation he had been placed in was a tight squeeze. On one side, his family had ties to the Nationalist Party. On the other hand, the manifestoes that were posted all over Shanghai might get traced back to his school. What to do? No matter who won the battle for China's soul, people would point to his family as being on the other side.

Feeling that no choice was left, Isaiah packed up his family and fled to Macau, a Portugese colony off the coast of Hong Kong.

[499 words]